By Ashley Austrew
If you鈥檙e dating in 2022, the first step is learning how to speak the language. Thanks to the proliferation of dating apps and social media messaging services, dating now has a solid online component. And just like all the other aspects of our online life (text speak, memes, and emojis), it has its own set of rules and vocabulary. When you鈥檙e looking for love these days, it鈥檚 totally possible you might get breadcrumbed and orbited on your way to the soft launch. Have no idea what we鈥檙e talking about? Keep reading as we help you make sense of 10 trending dating terms you need to know to navigate your dating apps.
1. soft launching
Soft launch originated as a web term that means launching a new website in stages. As dating slang, it means essentially the same thing, except the thing being launched is a new relationship. The term refers to the trend of posting subtle hints on social media that you鈥檙e dating someone new鈥攖wo glasses of wine, for instance鈥攚ithout revealing identifying details. It was coined by actress , who tweeted in 2020, 鈥淐ongratulations on the soft launch of ur boyfriend (pic on story, elbow and side profile only).鈥� If things work out, maybe you鈥檒l level up to sharing photos of each other on the main feed.
2. roaching
It鈥檚 an unwritten rule that if you see one cockroach, there are probably more lurking in the dark. That鈥檚 where the dating term roaching comes from. It鈥檚 described as roaching if a person you鈥檙e dating is hiding the fact that they鈥檙e involved with multiple other people at the same time. Of course, there鈥檚 nothing wrong with keeping it casual or seeing multiple people if that鈥檚 what鈥檚 been agreed upon. What makes it roaching is the fact that it鈥檚 happening in secret. The person might even play it off like they鈥檙e only seeing one person. Maybe it鈥檚 time to exterminate that connection.
3. Fauci-ing
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, became a household name during the pandemic. He鈥檚 so well known, in fact, that he inspired his own dating slang. Fauci-ing is the act of turning down a date because someone isn鈥檛 taking the pandemic seriously enough. The term is believed to have been coined by the dating app , and it鈥檚 gotten so popular that Axios asked about it in February 2021. He found it hilarious.
Doesn’t hurt to brush up on the difference between flu and COVID-19 before your next date.
4. zombie-ing
By now, you鈥檝e probably heard of ghosting, that unpleasant phenomenon in which someone abruptly ends all contact with no explanation. But what do you call it when someone who ghosted you suddenly comes back around? Zombie-ing. A , in this case, is a ghoster who 鈥渞ises from the dead鈥� and contacts you like nothing ever happened. Just like in a real zombie apocalypse, there probably isn鈥檛 a cure for the virus. Perhaps the best thing you can do is run away fast.
5. wokefishing
Coined by writer , wokefishing happens when someone portrays themselves as more progressive than they are, usually on social media, in order to impress others or simply because they aren鈥檛 as well-versed on the issues as they believe themselves to be. The term is modeled after catfishing, which is when someone assumes a false identity or personality online. Online activism is a part of life in 2022, but misrepresenting your values to get dates doesn鈥檛 sound very woke to us.
6. benching
Athletes get benched, or 鈥渞emoved from a game,鈥� all the time. What does it mean in dating? Benching refers to the practice of keeping a potential romantic partner on hold in case others don鈥檛 work out. If you鈥檙e being benched, the person who is doing the benching might reach out just often enough to keep you on the hook, but they only really invest time in the relationship or come around when they don鈥檛 have other options. If dating had referees, there would definitely be a flag on this play.
7. orbiting
has referred to orbiting as 鈥渢he new ghosting.鈥� It鈥檚 when someone breaks off all contact with a person they were dating in real life, but they continue following that person on social media and interacting with their posts and content. In other words, they orbit their ex or former dating partner just like a planet might orbit another celestial body. Of course, it鈥檚 normal to stay social media friends sometimes, but if the breakup is fresh or the severing of ties was complete and the person is still reacting to your Instagram stories like nothing happened? Houston, we have a problem.
8. cuffing
Does it seem like everyone pairs up as soon as the holiday season arrives? You aren鈥檛 imagining things. The phenomenon even has a name. Cuffing is another way of saying people are committing to a relationship, and cuffing season is 鈥渢he period during the fall and winter holidays, from Thanksgiving to Valentine鈥檚 Day, when people are more inclined to pair up in committed romantic relationships.鈥� Cuffs has been short for handcuffs since the 1800s. Now,听the terms getting cuffed and cuffing season聽are a play on聽handcuffing oneself to a partner (i.e., being exclusive). While these relationships may or may not go the distance once the seasons change, at least there鈥檚 someone else around to fake laugh at your uncle鈥檚 bad jokes on Thanksgiving.
9. pocketing
Normally, when people are in a new relationship, they want to shout it from the rooftops. That鈥檚 not the case with pocketing. Pocketing means keeping someone you鈥檙e dating separate, or 鈥�pocketed,鈥� from the rest of your life, like not introducing them to your friends, inviting them to events or making mention of your relationship on social media. There are a lot of different reasons why people may pocket a new relationship. Regardless of the reason, it鈥檚 safe to say no one wants to feel like they鈥檝e been tucked away like loose change.
10. breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is the new 鈥渓eading someone on.鈥� Typically, if someone is breadcrumbing you, it happens via text and social media. They engage in occasional chats and messages, and they might even flirt, but they don鈥檛 intend to actually pursue a relationship. If anything, they might just be in it for the ego boost. The metaphor of breadcrumbing might remind you of Hansel and Gretel鈥攁nd the trail of crumbs they left behind鈥攁nd that鈥檚 exactly what this term references. Someone is leaving just enough of a trail to string you along. Take note: breadcrumbing can happen with exes, too. They might pop up just when you’re starting to move on. Normally, we aren鈥檛 ones to promote dating slang warfare, but if you鈥檙e a victim of breadcrumbing, that might be an instance when ghosting someone is justified.
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Ashley Austrew is a freelance journalist and writer from Omaha, Nebraska. Her work has been published at聽Cosmopolitan,听Scary Mommy,听Scholastic, and other outlets.聽For more by聽Ashley, read: 听触听触听鈥淭eacher鈥� vs. 鈥淭utor鈥�: Why Most Kids Need Both听触听
