51吃瓜

It鈥檚 safe to say we all like feeling loved, but do we all feel and express love in the exact same ways? Not necessarily, according to the experts. If you鈥檝e spent any time online or interacting with pop culture, you鈥檝e probably heard a thing or two about love languages, and one love language specifically: words of affirmation.

These buzzy terms have been on our collective radar for decades, but you might be wondering where this idea comes from and how to communicate using these so-called languages. Since words are our speciality, let鈥檚 dive in. Here鈥檚 what you need to know about love languages and what to say when words of affirmation are your sweetie鈥檚 language of choice.

What are the love languages?

As you might have guessed, love languages aren鈥檛 actual languages that you speak. Rather, they鈥檙e a way of explaining the different ways people give and receive love. The concept of is largely taken from a 1992 book by Christian self-help writer and counselor Gary Chapman.

What does words of affirmation mean?

An affirmation is 鈥渢he assertion that something exists or is true.鈥� When you use words of affirmation, you鈥檙e essentially affirming your relationship with someone, what they mean to you, and how you view them.

51吃瓜s of affirmation aren鈥檛 only important in romantic relationships. They鈥檙e also a way to solidify your connection to friends, family, colleagues, and other significant people in your life. So, what does affirming someone actually sound like? Here are some of the words you might use in these affirmations and how to put this essential love language into practice.

1. appreciate

One major way to affirm people is to tell them how much their presence improves your life. Appreciate is the perfect word for this. Meaning 鈥渢o be grateful or thankful for,鈥澛�appreciate comes from the Latin 补辫辫谤别肠颈腻迟耻蝉, or 鈥渧alued, appraised.鈥� To use this one in an affirming way, be specific with your praise. For example:

I appreciate it when you …
The thing I appreciate about you the most is …
You make me feel appreciated by …

2. impress

What impresses you about the people in your life? Impress is a verb that entered English in the 1300s. It means 鈥渢o affect deeply in mind or feelings; influence in opinion.鈥� When you tell someone you鈥檙e impressed by them, you鈥檙e letting them know they鈥檝e caught your attention and have your admiration. That might look like this:

It impresses me so much when …
Your ability to do [blank] is so impressive.

3. lucky

What better way to let someone know they鈥檙e one of a kind than by telling them how lucky you are to have them in your life? Lucky means 鈥渉aving or marked by good luck; fortunate.鈥� Telling someone you feel lucky to have them lets them know you see your relationship as a product of good fortune, and that鈥檚 always lovely to hear. For example:

I feel so lucky to have you because 鈥�
Not many people have a friend like you, and that makes me feel so lucky.

Looking for lucky synonyms? You’re in luck! Discover a few here.

4. proud

Pride isn鈥檛 always considered a positive thing, but being proud of someone else usually is. Proud means 鈥渇eeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself.鈥� It鈥檚 a feeling we鈥檝e been expressing in English since before the year 1,000. To use proud as a word of affirmation, say:

I am proud of you because 鈥�
It makes me so proud to call you my friend.
I鈥檓 so proud to have you on my team.

5. value

Ultimately, words of affirmation let people know that you value them. To value someone means 鈥渢o regard or esteem highly.鈥� It鈥檚 a form of the Latin 惫补濒脓谤别, meaning 鈥渢o be worth.鈥� When you affirm someone, you鈥檙e letting them know both that you value them and that they add value to your life. For example:

I really value the way we can always talk to one another.
My life feels more valuable just because you鈥檙e in it.
I deeply value your 鈥�

6. love

The word love has existed in English since before the year 900, yet somehow we never get tired of hearing it. It means 鈥渁 profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.鈥� In the case of words of affirmation, the key is in how you use it. “I love you鈥� is an easy enough thing to say, but what qualities do you love about that person? What inspires those feelings? Try one of these:

I love the way you 鈥�
I feel most in love with you when 鈥�

7. gratitude

Gratitude is an important part of saying words of affirmation. Sometimes we might feel very thankful for someone鈥檚 presence, but not necessarily express that to them. This word is a way to change that. Gratitude is 鈥渢he quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.鈥� To use it as an affirmation, you might say:

I feel so much gratitude that I get to have you in my life.
I鈥檓 so grateful to have a partner who 鈥�

8. inspire

How do your loved ones inspire you? Inspire means 鈥渢o fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence.鈥� It comes from the Latin 颈苍蝉辫墨谤腻谤别, meaning 鈥渢o breathe upon or into.鈥� Someone may inspire you to action or they may inspire feelings within you. Let鈥檚 try it in some sentences:

I鈥檓 so inspired by the way you 鈥�
Your [blank] is my greatest inspiration.
Every day we spend together makes me feel inspired to be a better person.

9. trust

Trust comes from the Old Norse traust, which is related to the German trost meaning 鈥渃omfort.鈥� And that鈥檚 what makes trust so important to relationships, right? Being able to trust someone lends a sense of comfort. It鈥檚 defined as 鈥渞eliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.鈥� Here鈥檚 how you can use it in an affirmation:

I know that I can always trust you to have my back, and that makes me feel safe.
It means everything to know that I have earned your trust.

10. believe

Sometimes our relationships inspire us to have faith and keep going, even when it鈥檚 hard. A good word to use in that case is believe. To believe means 鈥渢o have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.鈥� You might say:

I believe in you.
I believe in our relationship because 鈥�
Having your support helps me believe in myself.

11. partner

The word partner has gained popularity in recent years as a gender neutral way of talking about a significant other, but that鈥檚 not the only definition. A partner can be anyone 鈥渨ho shares or is associated with another in some action or endeavor.鈥� That might be a business partner, a romantic partner, or even a best friend. Letting someone know you see them as a partner is a significant way of affirming what they mean to you. For example:

You鈥檙e my partner, and your opinion matters to me.
It means so much to know I don鈥檛 have to go through this alone because I have you as a partner.
I couldn鈥檛 ask for a better partner than you.

12. support

In hard times, relationships are about being there for each other. That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 affirming to let others know you support them and to thank them when they return the favor. Support means 鈥渢o bear or hold up; serve as a foundation for.鈥� You might say:

I feel so supported when you 鈥�
I know this is a big decision for you, and I support you no matter what.
Your support is a big reason why I鈥檓 able to 鈥�

13. favorite

Just like you have a favorite song or a favorite food, you can have favorite qualities in people you care about. A favorite is 鈥渁 person or thing regarded with special favor or preference.鈥� Maybe it鈥檚 their kindness. Maybe it鈥檚 the way they cheer you up after a bad day. Maybe it鈥檚 their beautiful smile. Whatever it might be, it鈥檚 affirming to hear the specific things that make you someone鈥檚 favorite, like this:

My favorite thing about you is 鈥�
My favorite thing that we do together is 鈥�.

Bolster your enduring gratitude for your loved ones by testing yourself on these words. Our quiz will reaffirm your skills!