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It’s something that Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor who posts relationship advice on social media under the handle Therapy Jeff, often sees in the comments on his videos about attachment theory.

First developed by psychologist John Bowlby in the late 1950s after he studied how infants reacted when separated from their primary caregivers, attachment theory analyzes the way people bond with others.

While it’s commonplace for people to attack avoidants on social media, Amir Levine, co-author of the 2010 book “Attached,” which helped propel attachment theory’s recent rise, says we aren’t stuck being one style over another for the rest of our lives.

You are the first person I’ve ever seen use attachment theory as a lens for looking at the types of friendships we attract.

Why did it feel appropriate to use attachment theory in this way, when it’s typically used as a framework for understanding romantic relationships?