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Accompanied by a trio of louche, bespangled “Hunnies,” he first puts Morton through a recap of his life, with an emphasis on his lies, betrayals and musicological self-aggrandizement.

So begins the patter in an evening of song and story that sees the world’s troubles in one bespangled diva’s heart.

But on Monday night, that someone was Kanye West, the musical was “The Cher Show,” and it was the glittery and bespangled opening night.

From the bow of his trawler, bespangled with anti-EU banners and bobbing on the grey Thames outside the Houses of Parliament, a rubicund fisherman bellowed at the crowds on Westminster Bridge.

The latter's single delegate defied the tropical heat in a bespangled black cat suit with fur accents.