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"Look boy," Dad told my cousin as we finished fixing our plates and sat down to eat.

Instead, listen to: “Billy’s Christmas Wish,” by Red Sovine, in which the country singer-songwriter delivers a dialogue between a local Santa and a sickly, sad boy — dad in prison, bartender mom living with an abusive boyfriend — who runs away because he’s been told he’s naughty and doesn’t deserve any Christmas joy.

If she had been a boy, Dad might have toppled completely off the deep end, and run amok with a kris in his teeth.

When I was a boy, Dad’s Army service uniform hung in a closet in my brother’s room, along with his combat boots and black felt cavalry hat with the captain’s bars pinned on the front.

I looked back at Dad and told him calmly, “I’m not a water boy, Dad. I’m not a team manager. I’m a player.”