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Four days before a woman barreled into a busy Windsor Hills intersection at more than 100 mph, causing a deadly, fiery crash, prosecutors say, she searched online using her phone: “Why do I feel like death is near?”

“I feel like death is haunting me since California authorities gave the green light for school districts to open in person,” she said, speaking through a mask that partly drowned out her voice.

“It can feel like death,” Ruckstaetter says.

Some of them feel good; others feel like death.

"It made me feel like death was close again and I no longer wanted to be the kid with cancer. So I ended up taking those letters, putting them in a box, and writing 'nostalgia' in block letters on the top."