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Maria Hols, a Scandinavian luxury beauty writer based in Dubai, says that Michelle, and her own excellent complexion, has always been Alpha-H's best ambassador.

"Who really needs a model to advertise the brand when you see the results of the products simply by looking at the brand's founder?" says Ms Hols.

"That idiot Amanda," Hortensia said, "has let her long hair grow even longer during the hols and her mother has plaited it into pigtails. Silly thing to do."

Thank you for the mystical stimulus over the hols!

“Firms only just back from the Christmas hols, that’s why. Still, Oxford’s hardly the ends of the earth, is it, Mrs. Rhydd? Be going up to see Dad soon, will we?”