51�Թ�

“If I were to go therapy mode on myself, I think I just don’t like firm endings in life, like hard nos or hard yeses. I don’t like the black and white of certain things. Goodbyes are very hard for me and I think happy endings aren’t always realistic. It’s better to leave things open-ended,” said Pillsbury.

“They thought I was a dead guy / I was on that NOS.”

“I was watching my bank account go down and down and down and the nos go up and up and up. I was terrified,” she said.

“If I’m being really, really honest — financially, it was terrifying, yes, but it was even scarier to try to risk going into this medium of television and film at that time, because I was confident there was no place for me. I was trying to go into something that I didn’t think I was invited to, and I was hearing enough nos to feel like I wasn’t invited.”

On a blistering summer day, Aduba quickly styled her hair in Bantu knots as she prepared to trudge to another round of back-to-back auditions, certain more nos were on the way.