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“That way if anything does splatter, at least it will hit our chef jacket.”

Williams, having found the capsule and burst it between his teeth, was led off the pitch, with strangely scarlet blood streaming from his mouth, splattering on Quins' famous quartered shirt.

Names splattered in from leftfield, a free-form approach to positions, a delicious cheese-dream of a bench – a side picked like Jackson Pollock paints.

Very, according to the grisly blood splatters, the ham-fisted dramatic score and the panic in Midthunder’s eyes.

Based on a Stephen King short story of the same name, “The Monkey” promised a revival of the convoluted deaths from the “Final Destination” series by way of a splatter gore midnight movie.