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At the end of the night, participants pulled out their phones to join, if they wanted to, the “sugar bowl” — an online space that helps attendees stay in touch after the event.

Gretchen took a short lap of her coffee, surprisingly neat, then looked up at me and with a gentle paw pushed the sugar bowl over toward me.

I open my mouth to say no, I’m too tired, but Emilika holds up her sugar bowl.

Some even have the matching creamer and sugar bowl.

That was how Mama found me: barefoot and in my nightclothes eating out of the pot of rice from dinner, Dinah propped up against the sugar bowl facing me, in the dark kitchen.